“I have to remind myself that it’s not about overcoming but instead working with the uncertainty, the difficulty; finding a dialogue with these new conditions of making and being with the work. Out of this intuitive process I slowly begin to discover a new intention for the work and with this a shift in my attention.“ (Helen Rouseau, Case study from OCA learn)
I was quite taken by this paragraph from the case study that we had to look at this week. As I understand it, Helen Rouseau is taking about procrastination, doubt and fear of failure regarding out art and our relationship to those feelings. I love how she goes on to challenge herself with the various exercises that she undertakes.
I really needed to read this cases study today. I has certainly made a shift in my attention and given me the permission to fail because my attention won’t have to be on the end product or on my intention/expectation (because I won’t have any). Can have a pure intention to make for the sake of making? I think I first need to be very honest with myself and ask myself in a different way. If I haven’t been making art purely for the sake of making, what was my intention? Was it to make art that is ‘good’. Was I making for an audience or was I making for myself? I think these are good questions. As I challenge myself this week, I will aim to answer them. I have been feeling anxious about making art lately and that is a horrible place to be, because I love making…
This week I will start to journal and draw and paint in my handmade ‘art-book’ and I look forward to it. I would also like to continue with my Fracture, Form, Frame project. For this I have to move away from my normal 2 dimensional surface and work with clay. This is how the project has evolved and seeing that I am interested in experimenting with sculpture, I look forward to play and have fun with it. I will hopefully post some images by the end of this week.
While reading through Helen’s case study I was introduced to the following book: Le Feuvre L (ed.) (2010), Failure: Documents of Contemporary Art, London and Cambridge MA. I was able to find it online and aim to read through it soon. I have read snippets. How wonderful to know that I am not alone in this maze which is the fear of failure. And how wonderful to think there is a way to break free so that all you have is your urge to create freely. Not having to answer or report back to the inner critic…
Another interview in the case study was with Annika Strom, a Swedish artist who mainly work with film, text pieces and song. Her songs, text pieces and all touch on the question of inadequacy – if not miserable failure.
“Although Annika Ström presents her failures – or fear of failures – it is in the ironic frame of their presentation that Ström’s ‘failures’ become poetic. Her works touch on basic human anxieties, such as the fear of being judged by others or the feeling of not being good enough. Constantly insisting on revealing her own irrational fears and supposed insufficiencies, her work questions the predominant values of a success-oriented society.” (Lotte Møller, ‘Failures’, in Annika Ström Live!: Works from 1995 to 2008, ed. Christophe Boutin (Paris: onestar press/Värnamo, Sweden: Fälth & Hässler, 2008) 101.
I find Annika’s work hilarious on the one side but also very refreshing and honest. I think it’s great that someone would take the time to create and art-form that places a focus on imperfection, failure and embarrassment. All of the emotions that are part of life but often hidden from the view of others, leaving us with feelings of shame. I think that her art subtly gives the message that imperfection and failure and life’s imperfections are ok. I would like to bring this message into my own work somehow and will keep it in mind as I experiment this week.
Here is a youtube video showing a compilation of some of her performance art:
“Begin somewhere – anywhere. Make contact with the surface; lay the ground. Each mark, line, tone incrementally claims a space, maps out a territory, sets up a beat.” (Helen Rouseau, Case study from OCA learn).
Although I haven’t really brought the aspect of failure and imperfection into my work yet, I do feel a strong connection with this topic and would like to use my art to voice that. Through imperfections and unfinished work and perhaps even an performance element I would like to conduct a series of experiments in the near future.
I feel this relates to my research in the sense that our inner landscape can only become a home when we can accept our imperfection and failures. Brene Brown says: “Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” (Brown, B. 2017).
References:
Brown, Brené. (2017). Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone. New York, Random House.